Category Archives: Fear and the Known

Fear of the Known

Fear of the Known livewithfear


“Try this”, as I held out a piece of shitake mushroom for my girlfriend to try.

“Eeew, its disgusting! You know I hate shitake mushrooms!” My girlfriend shuddered with disgust.

Shitake mushroom, is Chinese/Japanese style dried mushrooms, a Chinese delicacy, when prepared well its a gorgeous dish. It can be braised, stir-fried (with other vegetables), steamed, fried (tempura style), or added to soup. Before it reaches your mouth, expect to be assailed by a woody fragrance, as you sink your teeth into the mushroom, you can feel the soft, tender, yet firm texture. Having absorbed the flavors of the gravy, and the rest of accompanying dishes, the harmonic flavors seeps out when you bite into it, mama mia! You can’t help but want to relish more of it.

Awesome isn’t it, but there is caveat. It got to be done well.

Apparently, my girlfriend has her maiden taste of shitake mushroom at a tender impressionable age. To say that whoever that prepared the dish didn’t do a good job was an understatement. It was absolutely awful. She hated it at first taste. Ever since then she had never put a piece of shitake mushroom in her mouth.

My friends, we often associate fear with unknown probability, and if I have to think of 2 words that best describe fear. It has got to be “What if”. “What if we die? What if this doesn’t work out? What if the food is awful?” People often spend a lot of time worrying about things that may or may not happened. Don’t get me wrong, these concerns can be valid, and we should take time to listen to fear, question it and address its concerns.

What is less talked about is fear’s is also associated with the known.

Imagine this scenario: A man abandoned his wife and daughter to fend themselves so that he can have a “better life”. The abandoned wife took it upon herself to provide for her daughter, working in the day as factory worker, cooks dinner for her daughter, only to rush off to the restaurant to work in the night as a waitress. On rare occasion when she has day offs, she would supervise the homework of the child. She would say: “Dear, you have to work hard at your studies. You can’t depend on men, they are all bad, just like your father. You can only depend on yourself”

My friends what do you think will happen? Do you think the girl will trust any men when she grows up? Do you think it will be easy for her to form a relationship with any guy?

No doubt that the father and husband is a irresponsible jerk, but are all men bad?

Ladies and gentlemen, sometimes first impressions, first tastes and first experiences can be disastrous. It may leave a bad lingering after-taste and maybe even fear.

But how much can we ascertain of something or someone based on first impressions?

In fact, have you ever wished that people not judge you based on first impression?

Do you think that something great good to happen if someone had given you a second chance?

If the answer is yes, perhaps we can consider giving someone or something a second chance if they had left a bad impression.

Next time when the fear of the unknown comes knocking, talk to it:

“Hey i understand that the first impression that we got is disastrous. But you know, we might have gotten off from the wrong foot, it probably wouldn’t be as bad if we gave it a second chance.”

Back to the shitake mushroom episode, my girlfriend gave the mushroom a try (albeit reluctantly) and she beamed. “Woo this is nice, can I have one more”

Having gave shitake mushroom a second chance after a disastrous first impression, she grew to like shitake mushroom (but only those dishes recommended by me). By being open to giving second chances, she has one more delightful flavor to relish.

instead of letting the fear of unknown stop you , can you think of the possibilities that might happen if you give ideas, people and things a second chance after a disastrous first impression?