Some of you might be thinking: “Hey Shaun, didn’t we talk about this earlier? Are you running out of things to write about?
We did talk about it: We question fear, we address its concerns and we leverage on it.
When I started this blog, I saw fear as a “third party”, as something that is not part of me, as something that just happens to come knocking on my door, and since its there I might as well make use of it.
I took a 2 weeks hiatus from writing the blog, while its not excuse, its because I took part in a speech contest 2 weekends ago, and the weekend before I took part in a seminar, “Living in Passion!” While I had a break through during the speech contest, it was the seminar that changed my mindset towards fear altogether.
Will you like to know what I have learnt about fear?
Before that let me share with you another story, recently my girlfriend texted me: “I am so touched by this video, and you know I am rarely moved. Go watch it. Its on my Facebook wall.”
I did as I was told (who wouldn’t right?). It was a video from the Chinese Talent Show, or “Zhong Guo Taren Xiu”, the play back started out with this introductory video with this girl saying: “The heavens have blessed me with this special hand to play beautiful music.” The scene then shifted to the auditorium at the TV studio, where she took her place at the piano and started playing. As the girl started playing the piano, I heard her gratitude, her happiness, and all that is expressed in her music, beautiful music from the heart of her soul. The camera shifted slowly to the piano keys, where I got to see the “special hand” in action, it was her fingerless right hand, and it was fluttering like a butterfly among the piano keys.
At that point, I got it, she was grateful for the hand that was given to her and its ability to play music!!!
At the post performance Q&A, one of the judges asked her:”What are your motivations for learning to play music?” The girl replied:”At first, I was moved by the sound that piano makes, so I make myself work hard at it, after a while I learned that the heavens are kind to me, as they blessed me with this special hand that helped me find music and most importantly play music.”
Amazing, isn’t it. Many people will see handicap as a…..handicap, an obstacle that impedes their lives. But this girl she sees it as a blessing, as a means to express her gifts to her as a musician.
My friends, what if everything happened for a reason?
Both the good things and the “bad”.
What if the “bad things” are there to help us express our gifts to world?
Back to what I learnt during the seminar “Living in Passion”, in one of the sharing session by one of the participants, she shared her frustrations she has with her mum, the trainer said: “Acknowledge the frustrations you have over your mum, we are both god and the devil at the same time. Love the devil as much as the God within you.”
At that moment, it all came together:
1) Fear is not just a separate entity from of us, fear is part of us, born within us from the experiences of our lives.
2) When we reject fear, we reject these experiences that happened to us, when we do that we reject a part of us.
3) When we reject a part of us, we don’t love ourselves totally.
Personally I think Fear is good, its to be loved, afterall it serves as a test of my conviction, and if I am paralyzed by fear, its not fears fault, it simply shows that my conviction is not strong enough.
Through this experience, I believe that there is a lesson and reason to everything that happens to us, and if we reject the things that happened to us, we won’t learn the lesson and we won’t see the reason.
If we miss the lessons and not seeing the reasons why things happened to us, we might just miss the clues that might just help us see what are our gifts to this world. It took a long time for me to acknowledge the fear of abandonment by friends, and when I did that and accepted the experience, I started to see that I actually do have lots of friends and by closing myself out previously, I am pushing them away from my life. I learnt that I was the selfish one, letting my abandonment by Alvin push people away, people who cared.
My friends, what do you do when fear comes knocking? Acknowledge it, (don’t let it come in though go out and meet it), talk to it, and listen to the story which fear has to tell, learn the lesson from the story, and at the end of the sharing, say: “I hear you fear of…….(e.g. abandonment) , thank you for sharing, thanks for the lesson, and I love you, and since you are me, I love me too.”
This is the FB Link to the video.
Your fellow human being:)