Tag Archives: Goals

Fear of Hard Work

How I wish I can be…..!                     Fear of Hardwork

How I wish I can have….!

Have you ever found yourself saying that before?

Each of us have our own…., the…… represents what we want or what we want to be. Maybe its to be rich, maybe its to have someone to love?

My friends, have you ever wondered:

How do we bridge the gap between our wishes and the realization of our wishes?

How do we attain our wishes?

Yesterday, I had a meeting with my support group from the “Living in Passion” Program which I graduated from 2 weeks ago.

During the conversation, my group mate Maggie mentioned about her experience being a support to a friend, in keeping her friend accountable to the goals that were set.

“I used to text my friend: “Good Morning, what is your plan for the day?”. After a while my friend stopped responding.Text after texts, no replies came.

Finally my friend called me and said: ” You know Maggie, maybe I am happy being the way I am.”

This incident with my friend taught me improvement and goals are difficult to attain, it takes lots of hard work. Many people find that they are not willing to put in the hard work to reach their goals.”

My friends, I learnt from this as sharing by Maggie, that to realize our wishes, hard work is needed.

Have you ever been put off by hard work, have you ever feared putting in hard work?

Fear of hard work is one of my greatest fears. For me this fear does not have a symptom, such as shaking of legs, tummy turning. For me this fear works in the background and simply keeps me from even thinking about the things that I need to do.

That sharing by Maggie stirred my thoughts, and the question came: “What is the missing link between my goals and hard work?” i.e.How do I get myself to work hard?

I left the discussion group with that BIG question mark, hanging over my head.

Have that ever happened to you? What did you do when you have the Big question mark hanging over your head?

For me, after a couple of frowning, pondering moments, i knew it was getting me nowhere. I decided to I let the idea run at the back of my head while I continue to do what I needed to do. As they say: “The brain is an answer seeking machine.” I soon found answers from an unexpected source: Facebook. I was looking at some of the latest postings, and I saw this quote from Steven Covey, the late author of the book, “7 habits of an Effective Person”.

It says: “You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage – pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically – to say ‘no’ to other things. And the say to do that is by having a BIGGER ‘YES’ burning inside.” The thing that captured my attention was the phrase “a BIGGER ‘yes’.”

I got it:  To overcome the fear of hard work, to make all the pain, the sacrifice worth it, I need a Bigger ‘YES’, a Bigger ‘Goal’! The Goal got to be bigger than all the pain and sacrifices

Then comes the question: “What is the Big Goal?” To me the big goal is that one thing I got to do in order to fulfill my life’s purpose. it varies from person to person, after all we are here on earth for a unique reason.

I starting seeing the Fear of hardwork in a different light.

I see it as a test to see if My goal/wish/want is BIG enough.

With this realization, I will work hard to realize my goals.

My goals are to be:

1) An excellent Finance Manager, that can help the business improve.

2) To create a better life for myself and my family, by building multiple passive income streams via online medias.

3) A public speaker to spread the good word that: “We all have choices!”

The hard work that is expected this month are:

1) Study about the nuts and bolts of the new industry that I will be working in.

2) Relearn and reinforce accounting concepts.

3) Enhance the website “Livewithfear.com” to improve the visuals, and usability, enable Google Adsense on my website

4) Continue delivering project speeches at toastmasters setting, and to earn opportunities to speak outside of toastmasters.

My friends, next time when you say:

How I wish I …….?

Maybe you can ask: Is this a Big Goal? Or is it a nice to have?

If its a Big Goal, be prepared to work hard. If its a nice to have, do you have the time or passion to work hard.

(P.S I will report the status i.e. the results of my hard work at the end of the month under comments.)

Shaun

Your fellow human being;)

 

Fear and Loss

Have you lost anything in your life before? Fear and Loss

How did you feel?

Did you panic? Did you feel the pain?

Live! With Fear is on the first page of Google!

I was pleasantly surprised as I found my site on page 1 of Google as I search for the term “live with fear”.

I always knew it was difficult to reach there and I didn’t thought that I am able to get ranked less say first page.

Since that day, I was constantly searching Google for my website. I felt a exhilarated when the ranking moved up, I felt sad when the ranking moved down, I felt comforted when the ranking went back up. It was like watching the stock market!

One day I was searching on Google and my website totally disappeared!! from the searches.

I was devastated!!! I searched and I searched but there was still no sign of Live! With Fear.

How would you feel if you gain a windfall only to lose it all?

I feared that I will never get the ranking back again.

As I sulked about the issue, I suddenly asked myself why I set up the website in the first place.

Was it to be vanity project and brag to the whole world that I am on Google?

No! I started on the project to give fear an avenue to be heard. I wanted to be of service to myself and others.

If I can get on Google once, I will be able to get on Google again. How? By focusing on doing the daily efforts, contemplating on the fears that I have surfaced, listen to what it is trying to say. and address its concerns.

Since that day I stopped looking at Live! With Fear’s Google ranking. A couple of days later, a friend of mine who wanted to see what the website is about, said: “Is this the one?” She was pointing to no. 6 of page one of the search results. I am back!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, what can you do when you lose what you have gained either by surprise or through your own devices?

Perhaps we can focus on doing the things that got us there in the first place, perhaps do it even better so that we can reduce the chances of losing it again.

In our quest for success, we can only focus on the daily efforts, have faith in ourselves, in the things we do. Keep track of we are. Adjust our bearings if necessary. Celebrate every little milestones that achieve and continue doing our daily efforts.

Next time if you lose something in your life, perhaps you can tell your yourself:” Since I got it once, I am able to get it again. All I need to do is to focus on the daily efforts.”

Good luck on your journey!

Shaun

www.livewithfear.com

Fear and Being of Service

Being of ServiceDo you have goals?

Are you working on (or at least trying to do something about) your goals?

In our pursuit of your goals, have ever had doubts you about attaining your goals?

The thing is until the day you attain your goals, you will never know if you are able to attain them?

In the meantime, what do you do?

Maybe this incident of mine will shed some light.

It was finally his turn.

Micheal Wee, The title of his speech, “Happiness”, “Happiness”, Micheal Wee. The contest chair called out the name of the name of the contestant

It was 7 March 2013, Tampines Changkat Toastmasters Club held its international speech contest. It was a contest to decide on who can rouse and inspire the audience to act on a noble thought and aspiration.

Micheal Wee, the international speech champion of Singapore and Thailand spoke: “How many of you wants to be happy?”

You can’t help but to give your attention to him. When he speaks, people listen, when he speaks you are moved, when he speaks you want to act.

That’s how great a speaker he is. Such a speaker is so inspiring that he is demoralizing, especially if you are a contesting against him.

I am contesting against him, he was the 5th speaker, and I was the ninth, the final speaker. He certainly set the benchmark, but the thing he wasn’t the only thing I had to worry about. Every other contestant were just as strong, they were either champions of previous year’s contest or had come close. In fact, in the past 4 years of contesting, this is the most keenly contested competition ever.

These are my thoughts: “I should just give up, there is no hope!”, “Maybe my message is not good enough, should I change my speech?”

How would you feel, if odds are stacking against you? How would you feel if you think your competitors are more superior than you?

It took me back to year 2009, I saw my best friend Coen contesting and won the speech contest, he was at his best, he dazzled like a star, I wished I was just like him, I wanted to win the international speech contest.

Since then I focused on delivering one project speech at a time, after each speech I would be provided feedback by the project evaluator, I would take in these feedback and incorporate the feedback into my next speech. When I got the best speaker award at each chapter meeting I would take it as an affirmation that i have done well. Finally in 2010, I finally got first runner up in the international speech contest! After that I got complacent, I continued to deliver speeches, but it felt as though I did it because I wanted to talk, I wanted the limelight. Coen my best friend, said that of me: “Your speech is getting nowhere, its like you took off without the audience (passengers) on board” I did not take the feedback too well. Or rather I did not take the feedback in at all.

But the result showed for the whole of 2011 I got no trophies to show for it, by getting first runner up, I forgot about the gold award, I grew complacent and as my friend said. I went no where.

It was November 2012, during a speech training session conducted by Coen, I came across this phrase “Be of service”. It was a revelation! I found out what is the key to my evolution it was craft and deliver my speech in such a way that will be of service to my audience. I rediscovered the fear of not engaging the audience, better still I have discovered the motivation to let my message shine and benefit the world.

With the intention set, its as if the past 4 year’s worth of efforts become redirected towards being of service. It showed in the number of best speaker ribbon I have won in a row. Not that I am bragging, these ribbons are a tremendous source of affirmation for me in this journey, an affirmation that is on track.

“Shaun Li, Trust in the process, Trust in the process, Shaun Li”

I whispered to myself “Be of service”, and I delivered.

I was in dazed. “Shaun Li!”, I thought my turn was over. “First runner up”

I am placed, and it was no surprise that Micheal won.

The lesson I learnt is this:

In live we often have doubts, but when we think that the goal is bigger than us, it is of service to mankind, even to the world. You can’t help but to accomplish it. Next time when you have doubt think of what your goal means to you and perhaps to the world, perhaps that will propel you past the fears and doubts. Just like how “being of service” worked for me.

Shaun

your fellow human being

www.livewithfear.com

 

 

 

 

My Lunar New Year’s Resolution

Lunar New year, signals the arrival of spring, for the Chinese its the most important festival, signalling a brand new start.

Its the Chinese equivalent of the First of January of the Gregorian Calender.

This year I didn’t make any resolutions on 01 January 2013. That’s because I had 2 fears actually.

The first is that I will not fulfil my resolution, the second is that I have to work hard for it. In fact I think its my fear of working hard that is preventing me from making the resolutions.

Over the Lunar New Holiday (from 09 – 12 February 13), I had the chance to think about my life. “Am  I willing to let fear of working hard prevent me from making my mark in life, or preventing me from living the life mission?”

That thought ended me in me I waking up in cold sweat, the fear of not accomplishing anything in life, has once again prompted me to act.

My resolution this year is to earn 150K in passive income. I came up with this amount after calculating how much I need in order to sustain the ideal lifestyle that I will like to have. (More about that in a another post)

One of the greatest fears regarding resolution, is that the goal seems too great to achieve. I have zero passive income now, 150K is a long shot. It can get discouraging just by thinking about it.

What did I do then? I determined the “how”. How refers to “How do I get there?”

I have identified 2 ways to do so:

1. On-line business

2. Investments

In the area of online business, I will sell an ebook. In the case of the latter, I will trade in shares, bonds and other assets.

Now that is not specific enough, to make life easier, we need to further breakdown the “how” into “achievable bits” over a designated timeframe. In my case, I decided that on a weekly basis I am going to write an article or a speech which will contribute towards the content of the book. On a weekly basis, I am going learn about one industry. I will learn about the SWOT (Strength, weakness, opportunity, threats) of the market leaders of the industry.

By writing this post, I have already fulfilled one of my goals, or “achievable bits”, and the industry I am going to study about is property.

After taking breaking the “how” into achievable bits. the next thing is “Just Do it”

At the end of the designated period (in my case 1 week),  take stock of what’s being done. If things don’t out the way you anticipated. Understand how happened to stop you from achieving the goals, overcome the problem and DO IT!

Take for example, I missed out on writing an article this week, because I was busy celebrating the Lunar New Year. I will simply make up for it. I will 2 articles, the following week.

And if you have done it, celebrate like crazy! Yes celebrate like crazy! Have an ice cream, shout to the world, or even a pat on your back. The purpose is to anchor the feeling of euphoria, of feeling good with the accomplishment of the “achievable bits”. Once that is done over time, you will gain the craving of success, and you will automatically do what’s necessary.

For me its simple, I will give myself a pat on my back, and update my success journal before I sleep. In fact, now I have the blog to shout out my successes in life

In short a key to a successful implementation of the new year resolution:

1. Be present with the fear of not being able to achieve anything in life.

2. Come up with a clear and specific resolution.

3. Break the resolution into “achievable bits”.

4. Just Do it!

5. Take stock of what you have done.

6. If things don’t turn out right, find out why, address it and then DO it!

7. Where things turn out right. Celebrate like crazy!!!

To a successful and prosperous Lunar New Year!

Shaun

Your fellow human:)